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Bittersweet

Last weekend, our youngest daughter, The Future Hospitality Manager, graduated from college.  She is now A Current Hospitality Manager and started working at a new and trendy boutique hotel about 2 hours from home.  She has worked a grand total of 4 days so far, and loves it!  She will be moving soon into her new apartment with a new roommie and a new grown-up life and every possibility ahead of her.  

The other daughter, The Teacher, is well-settled into grown up life and is also loving it and is also about 2 hours away from home; thankfully both are in the same town.

As I write this, I’m a little teary-eyed because my day-to-day job as a mom has officially....ended.  Now, I know that a mother’s job is never really done; I know that grown children do have a way of coming back home and I know that a daughter always needs her mother whether she’s one day old or 56 years old (me) but that day-to-day carpooling, soccer-momming, lunch-making, laundry-folding, nurse-maiding, sibling-referreeing rhythm of life is over; I mean, really over.  God’s mercy and grace allow us to ease out of it during the college years; there is always Christmas Break, always Spring Break, always Summer Break to anticipate but it’s not that way anymore. This is the first summer that I don’t have a kid coming home.

The upside to all of this is that the times we are all together as a family become like precious treasures to grab up and make memories with. We make more effort to plan and be together at family events and get along because those times aren’t as plentiful as they used to be. There’s a lot more laughter and talking and fun.  In fact, right now we’re planning a family get-away in a few weeks, not to Ocracoke this year, but some place further away where we can truly focus on each other and have fun together. 


Years ago, when my daughters were little girls and I was in a poetry writing phase of life, I wrote a poem that expressed my occasional frustration with the daily ups and downs of motherhood, all the while knowing that time with children at home is precious and fleeting. 



Bittersweet   (LLM Dec. 2001)


When the kids are grown and gone,
The Christmas cards will go out on time,
Perhaps even a little early,
With lengthy notes of Holiday cheer to update long-lost friends.

When the hustle-bustle of after school activities ceases,
I’ll cook luxurious gourmet meals--
We’ll use the good china and Waterford;
The dinner table will resound with adult conversation,
good manners and candlelight.

When the telephone stops its incessant ringing,
We’ll get to watch a whole grown-up television program
Uninterrupted.

When the homework has all been completed,
We can sit and chat about our day
And make plans for future days in peace and quiet.

When the doorbell no longer rings and no
Little faces are peering in the front-door window 
Seeking playmates,
We can wipe away all the little nose and fingerprints
And the glass will stay crystal clear and clean always.

When the kids are grown and gone,
The house will no longer be cluttered with
Toys and dolls, library books, and little girl things.
We can sweep away the hairbrushes, barrettes, crayons,
Tennis shoes and candy wrappers from the floor.

I’ll sit back and read the books I’ve longed to read,
I’ll retire earlier and get up later,
My house will once again be mine-
Organized, tidy and quiet.

When the kids are grown and gone.........

Dear God, may that day NEVER come!!!



Well, that day came and it’s not as bad as I thought it would be.  I’ve grown closer to my husband and my Heavenly Father. I stay busier than ever helping older relatives, volunteering my time and I do spend more time reading! (However my Christmas cards are not going out at all anymore and I do NOT make gourmet meals and eat off china and Waterford over candlelight!!)  And of course, there’s 10 Cuttin Sage to write about!

Life changes, circumstances change, but my God never changes. He’s always there making plans for my life and my children’s lives. Spring always comes after winter, the flowers always bloom, the grass always needs mowed, 

And the sun always rises and sets on Ocracoke!










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