I made a choice to be a stay-at-home parent about 30 years ago. When young and single, I was a prestige-seeking, briefcase- carrying, suit-wearing career woman determined to make it in the corporate world because I felt that I had to prove myself to parents (who paid for my college education and wanted more opportunity for their one and only daughter) and prove myself to academics who felt that all women needed to modernize and get involved in the feminist movement which was just beginning to blossom at that time. I felt that I had no value unless I was a college-educated career woman.
However....
as the biological clock ticked on with an Energizer bunny battery and my 30’s approached with frightening speed, that “old-fashioned” nesting/nurturing instinct kicked in with equal ferocity and I soon realized that I not only wanted to be a mother but I wanted to make a serious career out of it, much more than any corporate job I had ever had!
Fortunately, The Doer of All Things Well had a good and secure job and he was able to provide well for a one income family. But even if we hadn’t had that, I was willing to sacrifice anything for the ability to stay home and take care of the bambinos.
After a time, I knew that it was a distinct calling from God because, not only was I able to focus on the children, I also had the time and flexibility to volunteer huge amounts of time to a variety of organizations, all of them Christian ministry- based. I felt I was doing the Lord’s work. Lucky Him.
There were many ups and downs along the way because I was the type of person who could never say no to people. I thought I “owed” it to God for the privilege of allowing me to stay at home and run the household. I became arrogant, overstressed, burned out, bitter toward ministry, and even bitter toward career women who, I thought, had more prestigious lifestyles and were able to duck out of the lowly volunteer duties that I often found myself in. There were mornings when I longed to don my high heels and designer suits and head out to an office where I knew I would get promotions and raises and recognition and all the other bells and whistles one usually attributes to the green grass on the "other side of the fence”. The old thoughts/lies of having no value unless I was a college-educated career woman came flooding back and still do quite often. It has been and still is a struggle for me. This is when God had to step in in a big way and teach me better things about who I am and who He is.
30 years have passed and I’m approaching 60, my children are grown and moved on to their own lives, and I’m still trying to figure out the next phase of life or “what I want to be when I grow up”. I’m still a caretaker (of the elderly, not children); I’m able to dabble in hobbies like beekeeping, gardening, and cooking/selling some of my kitchen creations. I’m still involved in Christian ministry as a volunteer but on a smaller scale than when I was younger. God, fortunately, is still molding and shaping me and has taught me many things over the years; mostly, to trust Him in all phases of life and to know that I am adopted as one of His dear children and have value beyond careers, children, volunteer work, or anything else this life on earth has to offer.
I am so very thankful for this life that He’s given me; the career life, the mother life, the volunteer life, the sacrificial life of nurturing and care taking, all phases and every up and down.
The grass is still greener on the other side, but my precious Father resides on both sides of the fence and no side compares to what awaits me in Heaven!
10 Cuttin Sage is my happy place and this blog is my happy place and I can hardly believe the grace God has given me and continues to give me every day, all because of the sacrifice of His One and Only Child on the cross in my place and for my sins. He is my true happy place and He is my absolute privilege!
WOW.
It’s Christmas and this is what it’s all about!
P.S. In a few weeks, I’ll be physically at my happy place, 10 Cuttin Sage. Will have another update then. Merry Christmas, my 3 followers!!!!
However....
as the biological clock ticked on with an Energizer bunny battery and my 30’s approached with frightening speed, that “old-fashioned” nesting/nurturing instinct kicked in with equal ferocity and I soon realized that I not only wanted to be a mother but I wanted to make a serious career out of it, much more than any corporate job I had ever had!
Fortunately, The Doer of All Things Well had a good and secure job and he was able to provide well for a one income family. But even if we hadn’t had that, I was willing to sacrifice anything for the ability to stay home and take care of the bambinos.
After a time, I knew that it was a distinct calling from God because, not only was I able to focus on the children, I also had the time and flexibility to volunteer huge amounts of time to a variety of organizations, all of them Christian ministry- based. I felt I was doing the Lord’s work. Lucky Him.
There were many ups and downs along the way because I was the type of person who could never say no to people. I thought I “owed” it to God for the privilege of allowing me to stay at home and run the household. I became arrogant, overstressed, burned out, bitter toward ministry, and even bitter toward career women who, I thought, had more prestigious lifestyles and were able to duck out of the lowly volunteer duties that I often found myself in. There were mornings when I longed to don my high heels and designer suits and head out to an office where I knew I would get promotions and raises and recognition and all the other bells and whistles one usually attributes to the green grass on the "other side of the fence”. The old thoughts/lies of having no value unless I was a college-educated career woman came flooding back and still do quite often. It has been and still is a struggle for me. This is when God had to step in in a big way and teach me better things about who I am and who He is.
30 years have passed and I’m approaching 60, my children are grown and moved on to their own lives, and I’m still trying to figure out the next phase of life or “what I want to be when I grow up”. I’m still a caretaker (of the elderly, not children); I’m able to dabble in hobbies like beekeeping, gardening, and cooking/selling some of my kitchen creations. I’m still involved in Christian ministry as a volunteer but on a smaller scale than when I was younger. God, fortunately, is still molding and shaping me and has taught me many things over the years; mostly, to trust Him in all phases of life and to know that I am adopted as one of His dear children and have value beyond careers, children, volunteer work, or anything else this life on earth has to offer.
I am so very thankful for this life that He’s given me; the career life, the mother life, the volunteer life, the sacrificial life of nurturing and care taking, all phases and every up and down.
The grass is still greener on the other side, but my precious Father resides on both sides of the fence and no side compares to what awaits me in Heaven!
10 Cuttin Sage is my happy place and this blog is my happy place and I can hardly believe the grace God has given me and continues to give me every day, all because of the sacrifice of His One and Only Child on the cross in my place and for my sins. He is my true happy place and He is my absolute privilege!
WOW.
It’s Christmas and this is what it’s all about!
P.S. In a few weeks, I’ll be physically at my happy place, 10 Cuttin Sage. Will have another update then. Merry Christmas, my 3 followers!!!!
Something magical about Christmas lights at night!
This is the “fancy” living room tree. I was raised to have a “nice, formal living room tree” and a casual, fun family room tree! And all artificial, of course!
A photo of the family room tree, more casual!
Here is Bodo, The Golden Retriever, competing for the best Christmas pose along with Fonzie, The Granddog.
It’s a lie; I’ve been somewhat good.....
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